Where's the nearest Command Line???

I had trouble getting on the Internet and was asked to go to the Command Line to get started with trouble shooting. Do you know where it is and what guns I should bring???

This keyboard doesn't play mozart???

I heard computers had keyboards. I bought one thinking I was getting a hi-fi music keybpard with a cool monitor. But click clack and ting are the only sounds!!!

What's the mouse supposed to do when it sees a cat???

Computer Store? Hi! I got the new computer delivered and it seems ok. But what is the mouse supposed to do when it sees a cat nearby???

This version of Windows is made of steel and glass :)

Which version of windows do I have? It's the one with 3 panes of glass and is built with a steel frame. Could there be a problem with the computer because of that???

You find stuff in India but can't find a key in my garden?

So you can't find the keys I dropped in the garden? How come you are able to find so many pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie even when they are out there in India?

My computer's listed on Dow Main???

"Is my computer on a dow main or a network"? This is just a computer at my home and is not on the Dow Jones index. As for net work are you talking of fishing nets???

Happy Diwali!

HAPPY DIWALI!

Security Update? Did any goons escape???

Hello Police Dept? Hi! My computer says there's a security update that needs to be applied. What is this all about? Have any convicts broken out from prison?

What is the sum of CTRL+ALT+DELETE???

Many people say I will have to "Press CTRL+ALT+DELETE" to logon to the computer. Do you know the result of that addition? Where can I learn to add keyboard keys???

Is my computer going blind???

It keeps saying "Cannot find" something. Since you guys say it was an intelligent machine, my guess is that it's going blind. Is there anything you can do about it now???

How many pens make a pen drive???

My friends say there are pen drives than can be used to transfer data between computers. I've got a lot of pens - how do I make a drive?

How much fish did the world wide web catch???

There's a world wide web??? Wow! That must be huge. Do you know how they set it up? And more importantly - how many salmon did they catch?

Where's the fax paper tray???

Someone told me that faxes can be received on this new computer. Do you know where I have to stuff the plain paper for the faxes???

How do I put my signature on the website???

It's got an option to Sign In and I'm not sure how to do that. Is there a pen that can let me put my signature on the monitor and get through the sign on screen???

Someone broke this new computer on the way!!!

I got the new computer and seems someone broke it along the way. A tray keeps coming out now n then! A CD drive? Which city is that in???

Where's the nearest computer obedience school???

I bought a computer and this one isn't well trained. It says invalid command or file name! Is there any obedience school for computers here?

Burma teak's the name on my cabinet. Ok???

What's the name on the cabinet? Did I reach the carpenter shop while calling computer tech support??? Anyway, the label reads "Made from Burma Teak". Ok?

1 computer to send and another to receive email???

It says "Send/Receive". Does that mean it can only do one thing? Do I need 1 computer to send emails and another to receive incoming email???

Is a webcam used to photograph the web???

I'm going online and wanted to take a picture of the Web. I've gone ahead and got a web-cam. Now, how do I get a photo of the web???

Is this tremor a new feature added now???

Hi! I turned on the computer and the place is shaking up a lot. Is this a new feature you guys added to make the computer cool or something? What? Earthquake??? Run!!!

Double Quick My Computer???

"Double quick My Computer"? Sure! I'd like it to be running fast. Tell me what I gotta do? "Double quick"? Sure...I'll do it double quick but what is it I gotta do? "Double Quick"!!!