Enlarge What???

This is too embarrasing to talk about - my computer is trying to get into my sexual life and I dont like it one bit!

Soft wear?

"What soft wear's on my computer?" I dunno - is it supposed to come with a dress..make it linen if you are sending it now ok?

Child IS the father of man

That kid out there is the no.1hacker in the world and CIA is keeping tabs on him? Child IS the father of man - someone got it right!

Cannot find What?

C'mon tell me what you really need - money/time off? I have kept the printer right in front of u. Why in hell r u saying "Cannot Find The Printer"

Shake Well Before Use

Dont worry about the virus - I'll just give it an anti-virus and shake well before use... I mean just like the tonic we drink when we r ill.

Any key Again

I've pressed and smashed all my keys - and it still asks me to "Press any key to continue" I give up... Please let me in!

Expected Errors

U r totally pathetic. I type a document for 1 hour and now you say "Unexpected Error Occurred"? When in hell have you expected an error, huh??

You had memory?

"Not enough memory"? I dont think you have that in the first place or you would have remembered Sally's phone number and helped me out today.

Virus Check?

Now, tech support has asked me to check you for viruses. Where do I poke this thermometer in to check for temperature - do you know?