What page are you talking about?

I never asked for a page - I'll get it from the binder if I need it. Stop saying "Page cannot be displayed" and go on and show www.msn.com

Invalid Argument?

If you do not like to help me learn more about that laptop I wanted to buy why dont you say so instead of yelling out "Invalid argument"?

A Devil selling XXX

I need some help here...the computer seems to have sold its soul to the devil and it wants to sell me some crazy XXX stuff that I dont really dig.

Pirated copy?

What? "Am I running a pirated version of the software?" I dunno...I was just watching Pirates of the Carribean...does that make it a pirated copy..?

Of mice and rats

Replacing the mouse has had no impact on the problem...and to boot, the mouse seems to need a lot of cheese daily.

Yoga Anybody?

"Control Alt Delete???" Hmm This is a pretty tough workout - never knew tech support and yoga went together till now.

Troubleshooting

Ok Pardner! Tell me when you're ready. I'm ready for Troubleshooting!

Sentence in a Word?

"You want me to enter a Sentence in Word ???"... Do you know English or are you reading this off some screen?

Soft where?

What's the soft where on the computer? There ain't any... there's some glass in the front but that ain't soft by any means.

Click like this?

You want me to click on the START button? Hmm...Hey 1 quick question - Is it safe to do this? I mean do you want me to go thru or just click?

Is this a Worm or what?

TECH Support? Ok Hi! I'm calling to report a WORM problem with my computer. It seems badly infected...Can you help?

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

Why does it bother you so much if I wash the diskette before putting it to use? I am just trying to keep things clean out here so that they are fine.

Who needs these disks?

Why do computer people keep sending stuff for kids like this disk-i-toy?

Where's my wallet?

C'mon this is going no where - tell me where my wallet is. I searched for "Wallet" in "Find" and it shows absolutely no clues as to where it is.

Angelina's not a Bad Command!

You dont have to make it obvious that you do not know Angelina Jolie. She is in no case a "Bad command or file name"!!!

Look who's being restrained

That kid out there is under a restraining order from getting anywhere near 5 metres of a computer for writing a virus??!!

Are you Paranoid about going Online?

Why r u so paranoid about going online?

Save Gloop from the Fatal Exception

But Nurse! There must be something the Doc can do. Gloop here has a "Fatal Exception" and I don't want him to die just like that.

Forbidden Fruits?

Hey! All I was trying to reach is my bank account. Don't put on your "Forbidden" act as if I was into a kinky sec site for God's sake!

Unable to locate the server?

You must be really lazy! You didn't even search and you say u r "Unable to locate the server". tell me how it looks like - maybe Martha will find it.

Get your own Java

That coffeee is for me and you shouldn't be trying to pull it back every now and then when I try to take a sip. Go get ur own java if u r that thirsty.

Illegal User Name

Look here...let's not start this name calling business - my name is Fred and it's not an "Illegal user name or password"!

Clear all cookies

When you say "Clear all cookies" do you want me to finish all the cookies in the jar? I thought I'd have some later on.

Press any key

You said "Press any key" and I have since tried my car keys, house keys and the key to my safe. What do you really want here?

Illegal Operation

Hey...no fair! It was you who performed the "Illegal Operation"
Go cuff yourself.