Will the computer be faster with this Ram???

Tech Support? I've got the Ram you guys told me to get last time. What should I do with it to make the programs on the computer go faster???

A crow keeps coming back in and I was wondering if it's got to do with the chips in the computer. Is it fish n chips by any chance?

Why isn't it uploading the photos now???

I've heard friends saying one can share photos by doing an upload. Gloop here doesn't seem to know what to do with the pictures. Any guesses???

Analytics

Why don't these work when wireless???

Isn't it true that wireless mouse and keyboard work great? Good! Then you can help me understand why my mouse and keyboard wont work after I cut the wires?

The computer's stealing my fax paper!

I can send a fax from the computer? Now, I know where the paper went from my fax machine. Do you know where it keeps the paper?

Our secrets are safe with computers!

How good are computers at keeping secrets? Gloop here has seen some things I'd rather forget soon. They don't see...are they blind???

Computers can delete history...wow!!!

What? You want me to clear History? Wow...developments in science has passed me by. I didn't know we could delete our past. This is really great!!!

Do you have a more polite keyboard here???

Why is this keyboard made to be so impolite? Theyhave made shortcuts for the F word and called it F1 to F12. Do you have a better one???

What Unknown device is this working with???

I dunno how this computer ever manages to run properly. It says Unknown device found and seems to be searching for its files! How does it know what is the Unknown device?

You want me to press the button on which tower?

You want me to press the switch on the tower? Which tower are you talking about and why do I have to go so far to repair my computer here?

So you say it's not the place for storing CDs?

Why didn't you tell me the CD drive was not the place to store all the CDs. I thought it was a pretty neat place to store things useful for the computer...even a cup of tea!

Did school bands start doing broad band?

Last night, the tech support guys were asking me to use broad band for faster internet access. What do they mean? Have school bands started doing something new?

Backup the computer? Ok where's the reverse gear?

How do I perform a backup of the computer? Does it have some wheels like the mouse seems to have? And where's the reverse gear by the way?

What code? I aint writing da vinci code!

A kick is all it needs???

What do you mean by boot up the computer? I thought computer tech support was different from TV repairs. Do you want me to give it a kick?

What's my keyboard trying to tell me?

My keyboard seems to be having arrows point in all directions and I don't know where to start! Do you know what it's trying to say to us?

Let's not talk about my drive shall we???

"No Floppy Drive detected"?? Hey! There's no need to comment on my drive and try and make things personal. We can discuss something else if you don't mind...ok???

Favoritism is rampant here!!!

This computer seems to be pretty biased if I may say so. What happenned? I was browsing the net and am seeing that it has favorites!!!

How do you read these mirrors with holes?

If u r clever enough to do that...do more!

How do you expect me to know what to do now? You showed me that huge list of printers...wow...I thought you were intelligent enough to figure out what to do next.